Disclosure: This site contains affiliate links & commission may be earned from purchases. As an Amazon Associate, I earn from qualifying purchases
Tis the season of festive fun, so what better way to celebrate than with a good old-fashioned Christmas Joke? All the below jokes are suitable for clean family fun.
We have divided these 100 hilarious Christmas jokes into sections including Elf Jokes, jokes about Santa, Snowmen, Reindeer and more…
1 – What does Santa like to eat for breakfast? Mistle-Toast!
2 – What do you call a rebellious child who doesn’t believe in Santa? A rebel without a Claus!.
3 – Why did Santa go to the doctor? Because he was in bad ‘Elf’!
4 – How much did Santa’s sleigh cost? Nothing! It was on the house!
5 – Who is a Christmas tree’s favourite singer? Spruce Springsteen
6 – Who delivers Christmas presents to pets? Santa Paws!
7 – What did Santa say to Mrs. Clause when he stepped in a puddle? There must have been reindeer!
8 – What happened when Santa ate a Christmas decoration? He got tinsel-itis!
9 – What do you call a skint Santa Claus? Saint-nickel-less!
10 – What is Santa’s favourite song? Twist and Sprout!
11 – What does Santa do when his elves misbehave? He gives them the sack!
12 – What goes “Oh, Oh, Oh”? Santa walking backwards!
13 – What does Santa spend his money on? Jingle Bills!
14 – What is Santa’s favourite herb? Christmas Thyme!
15 – Who is Santa’s favourite pop star? Beyon-sleigh!
16 – How does Santa keep track of every fireplace he has visited? He keeps a log!
17 – Where does Santa Claus go swimming? The North Pool!
18 – What did Santa give the angry mouse for Christmas? A Cross Mouse Card!
19 – What do you call a person who doesn’t believe in Santa Claus? Eggnog-stic!
20 – What did the Ram say to Santa? All I want for Christmas is Ewe!
21 – What do you get when you jail Santa Claus? Nicholas Caged!
22 – Why can Santa fight with Karate skills? Because he has a black belt!
23 – What do you say if Santa asks if you’re in the room? Present!
24 – Why is there a clock on Santa’s sleigh? He wants to see time fly!
25 – What goes red white, red white, red white? Santa rolling down a hill!
26 – What do you call an ignorant Reindeer? RUDE-olph!
27 – Dinosaurs are afraid of which one of Santa’s Reindeer? Comet!
28 – What do you call a Reindeer ghost? Cari-BOO!
29 – What game is loved by Reindeer? Truth or Deer!
30 – Which one of Santa’s Reindeer has the best moves? Dancer!
31 – Which of Santa’s Reindeer’s favourite food is kebab? Donner!
32 – How did the Reindeer know it was going to rain? Because Rudolph the red-knows-rain, deer!
33 – What happens when the Reindeer drive too fast? Santa holds on for Deer life!
34 – Where do Reindeer go for coffee? Star-bucks!
35 – What’s a Reindeer’s favourite sport? Stable tennis!
36 – What do reindeer hang on their Christmas trees? Horn-aments!
37 – What is Rudolph’s favourite day of the year? Red Nose Day!
38 – Why did Ruloplh do badly in school? Because he went down in history!
39 – What do the other reindeer call Rudolph? Names!
40 – What do Reindeer hand on their Christmas trees? Hornaments!
41 – What do you call a Reindeer with no eyes? No eye-deer!
42 – What do naughty Reindeer eat for breakfast? Co-coal Puffs!
43 – Why don’t male Reindeer smile? They have buck teeth!
44 – What happens when Reindeer wake up late for work? They have to hoof it!
45 – What do you call a 3-legged Reindeer? Eileen!
50 – Why couldn’t the elves keep the Vixen in the barn? It was unstable!
51 – What type of music do Elves love? Wrap!
52 – What do Elves learn in school? The elf-abet!
53 – What did the Elf say to the advent calendar? Your days are Numbered!
54 – Why is Santa’s head Elf so shy? He has low elf-esteem!
55 – What do you call an Elf that sings ‘Blue Christmas’? Elfis!
56 – What kind of photos do Elves take? Elfies!
57 – What make of cars do Elves drive? Toy-otas!
58 – Why did the Elf give another Elf a foot for Christmas? Because it made a great stocking filler!
59 – What happened to the Elf who stole an advent calendar? He got 25 days!
60 – What do you call a musically gifted Elf? A Christmas Rapper!
61 – Where do Elves go to relax? The Elf Spa!
62 – What’s an Elf’s favourite king at Christmas? A stoc-king!
63 – What do elderly Elves use to get around? Candy Canes!
64 – What do you call an Elf that won’t share? Elfish!
65 – Why did the Elf sleep in the fireplace? To sleep like a log!
66 – What do they call Elf on the shelf’s girlfriend? Miss Chevious!
67 – Why did the Elf put glue on his book? Because he wanted a story he couldn’t put down!
68 – Why do Elves always cry? Because they’re very Santa-Mental!
69 – What did Santa say to the naughty Elf? Yule be Sorry!
70 – What do Elves eat with? Utinsils!
71 – What’s the difference between Santa and Harry Potter? Santa wouldn’t free an Elf!
72 – What medicine does a diabetic elf need? Tinselin!
73 – What’s the best Job for an Elf at the North Pole? Elf and safety officer!
74 – What’s a female Elf called? A Shelf!
75 – What do you call a rich Elf? Welfy!
76 – What do Snowmen eat for breakfast? Frosted Flakes!
77 – What would a vampire Snowman give you? Frostbite!
78 – What happened when a snowman had a temper tantrum? He had a meltdown!
79 – What do you call an old Snowman? Water!
80 – What can snowmen always smell? Carrots!
81 – What do snowmen take when they get too hot? A Chill Pill!
82 – What do Snowmen like best at school? Snow and Tell!
83 – Where do Snowmen vote? The North Poll!
84 – Why was the snowman searching through carrots? He was picking his nose!
85 – What do you call a Snowman wearing ear muffs? Anything you want, He can’t hear you!
86 – What do you call a Snowman party? A Snowball!
87 – What is a Snowman’s favourite lunch? A brrr-grrrr with Chilly Sauce!
88 – What do you sing at a snowman’s birthday party? Freeze a jolly good fellow!
89 – What do you call a snowman with a six-pack? The abdominal Snowman!
90 – What do snowmen call their young? Chill-dren!
91 – What happened to the Snowman who stole a calendar? He got 12 months!
92 – What do you call a snowman on a beach? A puddle!
93 – What is a Snowman’s favourite packet of sweets? Frosties!
94 – Why don’t Snowmen like Carrot cake? It tastes like Boogies!
95 – What do you call a Snowman’s dog? A Slush Puppie!
96 – How do Snowmen relax? They Chill Out!
97 – What do you get if you cross a Snowman with a baker? Frosty the dough-man!
98 – How does a Snowman get around? By icicle!
99 – Who is Frosty the Snowman’s favourite aunt? — Aunt Arctica!
100 – Why was Santa keeping an eye on Frosty the Snowman? He was up to snow good!
Find your Elf Name with this Elf Name Generator
We hope you loved these funny, festive jokes! If you know of any more we should add to the list, please let us know in the comments below…