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Rude Secret Santa Gifts
My friend group are pretty brutal and we have been doing Secret Santa for years, we are always pranking each other so Secret Santa is the perfect opportunity for us to go below the belt with the banter.
Below are some of the funny presents we have given to each other, and we have a rule that if it’s wearable, you have to wear the item for the entirety of the party and if it’s not, you have to have a picture with your present and post it on your most used social media profile.
So here are 10+ Funny, Unusual & Rude Secret Santa Gift Ideas Suitable for Adults that will get a laugh and embarrass your Friends at any Christmas Party…
1 – Football Memorabilia (For the Club they Hate the Most)
My partner (an avid Liverpool supporter) received a 2021 Arsenal Calendar and Keyring last Christmas, and it’s safe to say he was NOT happy.
Perfect For: Football Fanatics
Budget: Football Items can be found for less than ยฃ5 with free delivery at eBay and Amazon
2 – Nobody Knows I’m Gay Gifts
This range comes with keyrings, mugs, coasters, T-shirts and Gym Bottles, from ยฃ3.99 delivered.
Perfect For: That homophobic friend. A friend who Is in denial or even an outrageously gay person.
Budget: Nobody Knows I’m Gay Gifts can be found for less than ยฃ5 with free delivery at eBay and Amazon
3 – A Canvas Picture or Poster of their Ex
Who wouldn’t want a personalised picture or mug with their exes face splashed all over it? This one usually goes down like a cup of cold sick.
Perfect For: Someone who LOATHES their ex or the mate with a new partner….that’s at the party!
Budget: Between ยฃ8 – ยฃ20 depending on items. Use code 50UK for 50% off any photo-printed items at printerpix
4 – Wanky Candles
Forget Yankee Candles, these are what you need to be dishing out at Christmas. Available in 5 delicious scents, as follows…
- Knob Cheese
- Sweaty Bollox
- Fanny Farts
- Eau de Cu-nt
- Sweaty Minge
Perfect For: Someone you really don’t like
Budget: These are around ยฃ9 each delivered
5 – Anti-Slut Pills
These also come in other variations such as cunt, bitch, wanker and arsehole….so there really is something for everyone!
Perfect For: The raging Slapper of the group or office
Budget: These come in at the bargain price of ยฃ4.99 per pack with free delivery
6 – DNA Test
We did this to our friend who was about to have twins, he saw the funny side….his wife did not!
Perfect For: Anyone Pregnant or about to be a dad….maybe even with kids already (pick one and put the childs name on the box – for full brutal points)
Budget: Around ยฃ5 delivered (more if they want to use the kit)
7 – A Great Big Strap On
Anyone would be embarrassed to open a great big vibrating adult toy in front of a group of people! It’s a brilliant secret Santa and always gets a laugh. Be sure to make the rule that you have to wear your present for the duration of the party.
Perfect For: For that painfully shy friend or the mate we all know loves a good pegging!
Budget: Between ยฃ8 – ยฃ15 delivered (depending on size)
8 – Help them find a new Religion
What better way to offend a devoutly religious person than trying to get them to change religion? You can even book them a free visit from a Jehovah’s Witness, which accompanied by this book will make this a gift that keeps on giving.
Perfect For: Atheists and people who take their religion very seriously.
Budget: Around ยฃ5 -ยฃ10 for a book or Bible
9 – Poo in a Gift Box
Because nothing says friendship like a handmade gift…
Perfect For: Someone who loves handmade crafts, or has a weak stomach for things like Poop.
Budget: ยฃ7.45 with free delivery at eBay
10 – Bald Head Buffer or a Funny Wig
There’s always the friend or colleague who’s trying to hide a bald or thinning patch, so let them know that we ALL know they are going bald…publicly!
If they are already bald, go for an outrageous wig and make them wear it all day! A mullet is always a treat for the eyes.
Perfect For: Baldies or anyone going bald (particularly the ones in denial)
Budget: About ยฃ5 for a buffer and around ยฃ10 for a wig
11 – Balls Door Knocker
Because who’s nan wouldn’t love a decorative door knocker?
Perfect For: Prudes, Nans and People With Posh Homes
Budget: These are available from Wowcher for ยฃ7.99 + P&P (The RRP is supposedly ยฃ49.99 but I find that hard to believe)
12 – Pierre the Penis Cushion
My friend hadn’t seen a penis in years, so now she had a big black one that no one can take away from her!
Perfect For: Singletons who are missing cuddling up to a great big penis
Budget: These are available from Wowcher from ยฃ12.99 depending on size and colour + P&P
FAQs
What is the Best Gift to Give for Secret Santa?
That really depends on the person you are buying for. Can they take a joke? If so a funny gift always goes down a storm.
But remember, You really don’t want to be upsetting someone and causing a family rift or getting a complaint at work.
So before you go buying someone a funny secret Santa gift, be sure they will actually see the funny side.
What are the Secret Santa Rules?
- You need at least 3 players, but the more you can get the better the game
- Each player puts their name into a hat (or online generator)
- Players then draw names (remember if you draw your own name, to draw again)
- You must then buy the player a present.
- Wrap the gift and put the recipient’s name on it.
- The presents then get secretly put in a bag and pulled out during the gift exchange.
Tip: There is a good free online Secret Santa name generator here
Check Out this amazing Christmas Movie Advent for adults
We hope you like this list and it’s given you some great ideas to prank your friends this Christmas! If you know of any other funny Secret Santa Gifts you think we should add to this list, let us know in the comments below…
