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Rude Secret Santa Gifts

My friend group are pretty brutal and we have been doing Secret Santa for years, we are always pranking each other so Secret Santa is the perfect opportunity for us to go below the belt with the banter.

Below are some of the funny presents we have given to each other, and we have a rule that if it’s wearable, you have to wear the item for the entirety of the party and if it’s not, you have to have a picture with your present and post it on your most used social media profile.

So here are 10+ Funny, Unusual & Rude Secret Santa Gift Ideas Suitable for Adults that will get a laugh and embarrass your Friends at any Christmas Party…

1 – Football Memorabilia (For the Club they Hate the Most)

Football Memorabilia My partner (an avid Liverpool supporter)  received a 2021 Arsenal Calendar and Keyring last Christmas, and it’s safe to say he was NOT happy.

Perfect For: Football Fanatics

Budget: Football Items can be found for less than £5 with free delivery at eBay and Amazon

Buy  Here


2 – Nobody Knows I’m Gay Gifts

Nobody Knows i'm Gay GiftsThis range comes with keyrings, mugs, coasters, T-shirts and Gym Bottles, from £3.99 delivered.

Perfect For: That homophobic friend.  A friend who Is in denial or even an outrageously gay person.

Budget: Nobody Knows I’m Gay Gifts can be found for less than £5 with free delivery at eBay and Amazon

Buy Here


3 – A Canvas Picture or Poster of their Ex

Ex Picture Joke GiftWho wouldn’t want a personalised picture or mug with their exes face splashed all over it? This one usually goes down like a cup of cold sick.

Perfect For: Someone who LOATHES their ex or the mate with a new partner….that’s at the party!

Budget: Between £8 – £20 depending on items. Use code 50UK for 50% off any photo-printed items at printerpix

Buy Here


4 – Wanky Candles

Wanky CandlesForget Yankee Candles, these are what you need to be dishing out at Christmas. Available in 5 delicious scents, as follows…

  • Knob Cheese
  • Sweaty Bollox
  • Fanny Farts
  • Eau de Cu-nt
  • Sweaty Minge

Perfect For:  Someone you really don’t like

Budget: These are around £9 each delivered

Buy Here


5 – Anti-Slut Pills

Anti Slut Pills Joke GiftThese also come in other variations such as cunt, bitch, wanker and arsehole….so there really is something for everyone!

Perfect For: The raging Slapper of the group or office

Budget: These come in at the bargain price of £4.99 per pack with free delivery

Buy Here


6 – DNA Test

DNA Test Joke Gift

We did this to our friend who was about to have twins, he saw the funny side….his wife did not!

Perfect For: Anyone Pregnant or about to be a dad….maybe even with kids already (pick one and put the childs name on the box – for full brutal points)

Budget: Around £5 delivered (more if they want to use the kit)

Buy Here


7 – A Great Big Strap On

Strap On jOKE giftAnyone would be embarrassed to open a great big vibrating adult toy in front of a group of people! It’s a brilliant secret Santa and always gets a laugh.  Be sure to make the rule that you have to wear your present for the duration of the party.

Perfect For: For that painfully shy friend or the mate we all know loves a good pegging!

Budget: Between £8 – £15 delivered (depending on size)

Buy Here


8 – Help them find a new Religion

Religion Joke

What better way to offend a devoutly religious person than trying to get them to change religion? You can even book them a free visit from a Jehovah’s Witness, which accompanied by this book will make this a gift that keeps on giving.

Perfect For: Atheists and people who take their religion very seriously.

Budget: Around £5 -£10 for a book or Bible

Buy Here

9 – Poo in a Gift Box

Shit in a box GiftBecause nothing says friendship like a handmade gift…

Perfect For: Someone who loves handmade crafts, or has a weak stomach for things like Poop.

Budget: £7.45 with free delivery at eBay

Buy Here


10 – Bald Head Buffer or a Funny Wig

BALD Head BufferThere’s always the friend or colleague who’s trying to hide a bald or thinning patch, so let them know that we ALL know they are going bald…publicly!

If they are already bald, go for an outrageous wig and make them wear it all day! A mullet is always a treat for the eyes.

Perfect For: Baldies or anyone going bald (particularly the ones in denial)

Budget: About £5 for a buffer and around £10 for a wig

Buy Here


11 – Balls Door Knocker

Because who’s nan wouldn’t love a decorative door knocker?

Perfect For: Prudes, Nans and People With Posh Homes

Budget:  These are available from Wowcher for £7.99 + P&P (The RRP is supposedly £49.99 but I find that hard to believe) 

Buy Here


12 – Pierre the Penis Cushion

Pierre The Penis Cushion

My friend hadn’t seen a penis in years, so now she had a big black one that no one can take away from her! 

Perfect For: Singletons who are missing cuddling up to a great big penis

Budget:  These are available from Wowcher from £12.99 depending on size and colour + P&P

Buy Here



What is the Best Gift to Give for Secret Santa?

That really depends on the person you are buying for. Can they take a joke? If so a funny gift always goes down a storm.

But remember, You really don’t want to be upsetting someone and causing a family rift or getting a complaint at work.

So before you go buying someone a funny secret Santa gift, be sure they will actually see the funny side.

What are the Secret Santa Rules?

  • You need at least 3 players, but the more you can get the better the game
  • Each player puts their name into a hat (or online generator)
  • Players then draw names (remember if you draw your own name, to draw again)
  • You must then buy the player a present.
  • Wrap the gift and put the recipient’s name on it.
  • The presents then get secretly put in a bag and pulled out during the gift exchange.

Tip: There is a good free online Secret Santa name generator here 


Check Out this amazing Christmas Movie Advent for adults

We hope you like this list and it’s given you some great ideas to prank your friends this Christmas! If you know of any other funny Secret Santa Gifts you think we should add to this list, let us know in the comments below…

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